MICHAELA PETRO and MALLORY NEES ascend the steps to Penthouse Studio 4W to profess their love of cheese and adoration of Idris Elba! They also patent Fauxoyote Fur ™, get disgusted by Tinder Snowmances and Mallory shares a very creepy story….
0:00 Michaela immediately distracts Sammy during the intro
1:05 Michaela is acting in a short film, Limerance. Sammy is intrigued that Mallory and Michaela get hit on by other ladies.
“If I spend $800 on a Canada Goose jacket…I’m gonna wear that down the aisle.”
7:00 Cheese thieves struck twice in Wisconsin. Canada Goose jackets are theft targets; Mallory has ethical issues with how they’re made. We delve into past fashion choices they’ve made.
20:00 Michaela is reading the Dark Tower series; Idris Elba will be playing the lead in the adaptation. We discuss the Oscars So White controversy, Chris Rock’s rewritten monologue and the Academy’s changes to their voting policies. Michaela & Mallory are Jeff-recommended actors.
32:00 Mallory is losing her in Bachelor Fantasy League. Also, there is a Bachelor Fantasy League. Sammy adores the Great British Bake Off.
“Once a woman’s been all up inside my mouth I’m done with her.”
40:30 Tinder has agreed to include a link to preventing and testing for STDs. Ahead of last weekend’s snowstorm, people were advertising for snowmances and storm hookups.
“They’re missing the whole ‘Unicorn-shitting-money step’…”
50:20 Mallory discusses her New Year resolutions. She shares a creepy story about a postcard she once received.